Finals Begin.

So it’s 9am, and my first college final starts in an hour and a half. Sure, I should probably be going over my English lit notes, but for the first time in my life my grades are good going into finals, and I don’t have to scramble to get them up. Plus, I know this stuff and I’m not worried about not doing well. I just read Christopher James’ blog and that made me want to write in my own.

I cannot wait to see all of my friends from home. After being such a large part of my life for such a long time, it’s been weird to only talk to them every once in a while, and even then only hear their voices. I called a few of them the other day because I needed some help with one of my papers and I knew they would be able to help me, and I realized that things really will be different when I come home. And I’m scared. Not that I think we won’t get along, or we won’t have anything to talk about, it just won’t be the same, and that makes me sad. I knew this coming here, that once I left in August, things would never be the same and now, four months later, the time has come to once again return home. And I’m scared. Not that I don’t love it here and don’t want to have to deal with the millions of questions that everyone will ask me about school. I’m excited to answer those, Valpo really is the perfect place for me. But it’s just me out here, and some people just won’t care as much as I want them to. They’ll listen to me talk about my friends and pretend to care, all the while wishing they could just start talking about how great life is for them at __________. It’s hard because I know I’ll be the same way. Part of me will want to hear all about other colleges, but part of me won’t because then I’ll have to come to terms with the fact that we are growing apart, and there are certain people that I just am not willing to lose. I’ve found that the people that I talk to from home and want to see most are the people that are still living the life I am familiar with. Katie, Danny Boy, Alex Marie- I know what they are talking about when they talk about their lives because they, while having also grown as people, haven’t grown away from what I know. But even with them, talking on the phone is different than seeing them in person, which I’ll do next Monday. And I’m scared. Scared because I’ll have to admit all of the things I’ve been trying to deny since I got here. Scared because I know we probably won’t care as much as we used to. Scared that I won’t feel like I belong when I go “home.”

i love you, but i'm scared.

Less than Two Weeks left at Valpo!!

I miss the days when the weather was above freezing. It hasn’t climbed above 30 all week, and the wind chill makes it usually feel in the single digits. I’ve never been this cold. It’s not very much fun. I learned today that going outside in 20 degree weather with wet hair is not a smart idea. I know, I know- it’s common knowledge to most, but I’m new to this. The worst part of it all is that we haven’t had a real snowfall yet, and that makes me sad. I was looking forward to the snow and Oregon has gotten more snow than Valpo. Chicago got almost a foot last weekend, but we barely got a dusting. I’m going to be very sad if it doesn’t snow before I come home- which is in only 12 days!!

I can hardly believe that the semester is almost over, and that I’ve been here for four months. My classes are coming to an end, and I can say that I’m proud of the work I’ve put out in my first semester of this crazy college education. My finals should be pretty easy, and are spaced out well, so I’ll have plenty of time to study for them individually. Dad flies in next week and heads out to Valpo on Friday. Surprisingly a good number of my friends will still be around, so he can meet them. I was afraid the campus would be pretty empty. We then spend the weekend in Chicago and fly home Sunday night, the 17th. I really can’t wait.

I’ve talked to most of my close friends pretty regularly and I’m uber excited to see them in such a short time. I’m looking forward to plenty of Dawson, movie nights and a trip to FX. I’m glad that even though I’ve been gone for so long, a part of us will never change, and we’ll always be able to remain the close friends we’ve always been. It’s going to be unusual to be away from my new friends. It’s surprised me how well I’ve gotten to know each other in the last few months. I’ve eaten dinner with the same six people every day since August and to think that I’ll be celebrating Christmas, my birthday and New Years without them is a little strange. They have become my family, and I’m sure that they’ll be getting numerous text messages over the three week period. I’ll just have to remember the time difference and make a point not to call them too late. Three weeks seems like a lot of time, but considering the number of people that I want to see before I fly back, I have a feeling I’m going to be rather busy, and January 8th will be here before I know it. Time literally flies by and it’s hard to stop and absorb it all sometimes. Luckily that’s why I’m born right after Jesus- it gives me a reason to have EVERYONE over for some fun. (by the way Dad- I’m having people over on my birthday, hope that’s okay!)

Other than that life is good, as always. I suppose I should mention that facebook doesn’t lie- I am in fact in a relationship. His name is Brett and he’s from St. Louis. At this point it’s new and I’m just interested in seeing where it goes.

I love you all and I can’t wait to see you!!!!